cygna_hime: Athena is a feminist bitch (Feminist Classicist Bitch)
Well, that was the most time I have ever spent discussing defecation in an academic setting.

It is unsurprisingly hard for the class to refrain from breaking down in giggles while discussing in detail a scene involving a constipated man trying to shit in his front yard while talking to a neighbor and wearing his wife's clothes. As you can well imagine.

Also, I would like to report that Aristophanes, in the fourth goddamn century BC, invented communism. For a gag. Political scholars do not pay him nearly the attention he deserves.

This may be because in one chapter of one book about him, I was confronted with a paragraph that taught me the ancient Greek words for: dick, cunt, erection, shit, asshole, fart, fuck, masturbate, ET ALII. I now possess one-stop research for all the classical insults or scatalogical comments I will EVER need or desire. And then some.

This is why I cannot bring myself to feel overly weird at having spent my previous classes writing Cats fanfic in my head. Weird is, after all, ultimately a comparative term. (Also, French is boring as all hell and much improved by attempting to organize a plotbunny chronology.)
cygna_hime: Athena is a feminist bitch (Feminist Classicist Bitch)
Me: doo be doo...What to do first...Oh! Reading on satyr-plays! I should do that before my analysis of the genre of the Alcestis!

Reading: Blah blah rape as comedy is one of the oldest tropes in the book blah blah.

Me: Well. That was instructive. Hey, I've done a bit of my Alcestis paper now! I'll treat myself to a bit of 358/2 Days replay funtimes!

Roxas: *goes to the Coliseum* Slaying Heartless is the only fun I know how to have that doesn't involve a specific flavor of ice cream.

Phil: Well, gotta go. Errands to run, nymphs to chase, you know how it is.

Roxas: *does not know how it is*

Me: *now DOES know how it is o gods why*

I wasn't sure whom to accuse of betraying me, but since the reading was called "Ithyphallic Males Behaving Badly" and the game was rated "Totally For Kids", the blame ends up firmly on the Disney side of the scale for lying to me with lies. LIES I TELL YOU.

And now I have shared this with you. Hah.
cygna_hime: Athena is a feminist bitch (Feminist Classicist Bitch)
I think maybe I or someone should be worried about the fact that Medea is high on my list of Characters I Would Marry Like A Shot. (What? I'd be fine; I'm not a philandering mansplaining douchebag!)

OTOH sexy powerful women who could kill me while subverting gender roles and then fly off in a chariot pulled by dragons = the hot.

Being a classics major is weird. Among other things, you redefine weird sexual attractions. Mostly because after a few vase paintings, you yourself feel positively vanilla. Unless you were attracted to the phallos-birds, in which case there is no help for you.

In other great news, I got into a playwright workshop for next semester! Apparently it is first come, first served, which for once was good for me -- I snapped on it, then emailed the prof asking about the writing sample that was allegedly required. And suddenly I received my POI without actually having to submit any such thing! Victory!

This means Alice in Wonderland project will absolutely get written next semester, w00t.

I'm thinking about taking only 3 classes next semester. Give myself a bit of a break on the last semester before REAL WORLD OMG. (Also, none of the French classes look interesting, and the Medieval Women Writers is unfortunately at the exact same time as Homer. And I <3 Homer too much.)

I should probably plan for after that.

...

...

*hides under blankets*
cygna_hime: Unretouched and unedited I swear to god. (Zounds!)
Being a classics major rocks because:

1. After coming out of a class, someone says, "I want to be Odysseus when I grow up".
2. This person is not me.
3. I can therefore agree enthusiastically.
4. A third person says, "Odysseus is ponerós to the max."
5. This makes sense to me.
6. And also to them.

We're weird and we know it, but damn it, we stick together because no one else will understand why we are laughing.

Hilarious academic quote du jour: "to be a citizen means always having a place to put your penis".
cygna_hime: Athena is a feminist bitch (Feminist Classicist Bitch)
I now know far, far more about archaic Greek sexual positions than I feel I ever could possibly have required. Even for mad ficcing purposes. FAR more. Also, I cannot help but find it odd that they painted orgies on their drinking cups. Unless said cups were painted while drunk; I would not find that beyond belief.

A classics major is for reading in a srsbsns academic context things that other people have to read on the Internet.
cygna_hime: Athena is a feminist bitch (Feminist Classicist Bitch)
Healing cock: tired old PWP device, or staple of archaic gynecology?

(Hint: the answer is, "Yes.")

Of course, "Your womb is moving around! Go find a man to bonk you until you get pregnant!" is actually in many ways a step up from, "Stick garlic/oil of bitter almond/myrrh/anything else vaguely medical and/or expensive up places garlic was really never meant to be stuck". I mean, at least it's cheaper. And less likely to involve sticking a deadly poison into your vagina. Yeah, that'll cure your breathing problems, alright! It'll also cure your breathing.

Since the headcold hasn't gone away, I count myself lucky to be living now rather than then.

(Readings also give rise to other interesting questions, such as, "Was there really sufficient case history of 'pubescent virgin has visions and goes suicidally crazy' to warrant an entry on its cure?" [The cure, of course, was Healing Cock.])

Makes Galen look insanely advanced, since he was willing to propound that maybe a woman was moping because she was in love with a dancer, rather than because her UTERUS WAS WANDERING AROUND. Of course, that was after the first human dissection, which helps.

Also, women are spongy and cold, like wet wool. The more you know...

Wackitude

Sep. 8th, 2010 09:14 pm
cygna_hime: Unretouched and unedited I swear to god. (Zounds!)
God, you people. I go away for a week to flail my way into the new semester, and LJ explodes again? Why does that always happen?

So, yeah. I'll be posting from here almost exclusively from here on out. (Note to self: move icons!) Drop me a note in this comment if you have a DW I can read there, though I'll still be reading on LJ as well. Also, if you want a DW but don't have one, I have invite codes to burn.

I'd make a statement about not crossposting to FB, but I already don't cross the streams. Just consider it said that I would kill you for breaking radio silence.

In other news, I have an APARTMENT. Fuck yeah! I mean, kitchen! FULL BATH ALL MINE! I am totally willing to trade the fact that my 9 am is across campus and I'm 10 minutes from anywhere for the bit where I HAS A SPACE.

CLASS RUNDOWN:

MWF 9-10 is Chem. Should be a nice little brainstretch; I haven't done Chem since high school and am rather out of practice. But I like it. Known Facts and Right Answers have their place. Also, I enjoy problem sets more than I should.

MW 1-2:30 is French. Good topic, boringest teacher. That notebook is sekritly for ficcing in while I pay just enough attention to respond when he lets someone else talk for five minutes. I totes knew better than this, I've had this teacher before, but I wanted to get the damn major requirements DONE already.

MW 2:40-4 is Greek. Awesomest teacher (I ♥ Professor Andy, and I am far from alone). One of the signs of a great teacher is when he tells you about the time he sacrificed a cake by dropping it down an airshaft in the science tower, back when the Classics offices were in there. Yeah. Wacky things classics people do.

W 7-10 is a seminar, Gender and Sexuality in Ancient Greek Culture...well, I hope it is. I'm not technically in the course yet, but as I'm a *senior* *major* who *needs this course for major requirement* I'm pretty far up the waiting list. (Apparently there are currently 30 people signed up or wanna-be, for a course limit of 15. And that's not an arbitrary limit: we could fit 19 students in the room tonight, but we were pretty low on chairs.) So I'm pretending I've got that guaranteed. Lalala.

Q: Why does my homework come with a NSFW label?
A: Because Greek Comedians.
Q: Seriously?
A: Yeah. Andy felt the need to warn us about squick.
Q: But--literature? Ancient culture? Art?
A: Comedy.

Also, you know you're in for another book idea when one of the oldest works of literature to completely survive opens with the characters discussing whether or not shit jokes are passé. This one is Basically Just Porn: The Layperson's Guide to Classical Literature.

Apparently as long as the filthy jokes have participles, they are Art. Who knew?

Also, happy new year, everyone!
cygna_hime: (Default)
Dear KH fandom,

I am in ur fandom, pastichin ur epics.

They should know better than to give classicists a prompt like "historical AU". The only prossible result is participles EVERYWHERE and fun with names and then EVERYBODY DIES. HAHAHAHAHAH!! Fear my nerdery!

(It's totally historical. In a Herodotean way. "Father of lies" is such a harsh term.)

I have no idea why I appear to be punch-drunk on writing epic. Maybe all the silly got bottled up while I was being srs bard?

Also wrote & posted lately And the Puzzle that is Me, because actually I *couldn't* think of anything for that prompt around the sound of Simon & Garfunkel. Except occasional Amy Lowell. Which didn't help. So it doesn't make so much in the way of sense. But that's okay. I seldom do.

Working on stuff...got a bit of Cartoon Heroes written. And most of the thing I picked up for [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest. W00t.

For the record, my major is the lulziest major. "Hello, class. Today we're going to talk about pederasty. Here, look at some vase paintings that would get you booted off of LJ if you posted them."
cygna_hime: (Default)
So I am totally going to write my Aeneid paper on Virgil fanfic. It will be EPIC (badump-ching!).

I am debating how to handle the aca/fen distinction: I have an urge to avow Virgil-as-fandom and use fandom terms (which are much better for discussing fanfic), but on the other hand there's the problem of the teacher not knowing what this fandom thing is (I don't think), which leads to a)having to identify a whooole bunch of terms before I can get down to brass tacks, and b)appearing to be on the wrong side of the Academese Line. And though I hate the Academese Line, when I'm not sure how the person grading my paper is going to respond, discretion is kind of the better part of valor.

I think I am going to compromise by dressing it up under "transformative fiction", but citing the OTW glossary to define the term, and generally referring to fandom sources to explain why all this fanfic (because where else would I *find* discussion on what makes fandom happen?).

But still. Totally writing about fanfic for a grade. This is why Classics is an awesome field. It's fandom all the way down!
cygna_hime: (Default)
Okay, so basically Jason? Is an incredibly obnoxious bitch who needed to be punched in the face more as an adult.

I am of course enjoying Medea immensely. It helps that I am supposed to think the above about Jason. Also, I introduced my class to the term "mansplain" today. (Jason: I know it can be difficult, living in exile... Me: Stop mansplaining, you bitch.)

So while I kind of want to stab someone now, it's in a constructive way, caused by Jason being written as a total pig, rather than a destructive way, caused by fail.
cygna_hime: (Default)
I have no trouble finding a conversation about Ursula LeGuin's comment on Virgil understanding women which segues quickly into whether or not Virgil really does *characters* at all, as compared particularly to Homer. And I can talk about this to other people who will be interested and have different perspectives! One of whom is writing a paper about classical mythology vis-a-vis the YA series Perry (?Percy?) Jackson and the Olympians!

Sometimes I forget that one can have rewarding conversations in meatspace too.

My opinion, of course, is that I find the Aeneid entirely too Because Destiny Says So. The Iliad has a fair amount of destiny, yes, but it's rarely something known explicitly by the people bringing it about. Aeneas knows a great deal about his destiny, and when he is informed what Fate says he should do next, he goes off and does it, Because Destiny Says So. Whereas fate in the Iliad tends to be something discussed only in narration, shared by the audience but not by the characters--except, notably, for Achilles, who is aware...that he has two equally likely destinies. He could always have gone home. He didn't, and after a certain point he couldn't without being horrifically OOC, but he could have. The Iliad is driven by characters: Agamemnon takes Chryseis as a slave, so her dad calls on Apollo, so Apollo send plague, so the Akhaians ask how they can lift the plague, so Calchas says Chryseis must go home, so Agamemnon says... The Aeneid on the other hand is driven by prophecies and divine intervention almost exclusively. It's the ultimate in plot-driven storytelling. Me, I am all about the character-driven.
cygna_hime: (Default)
Some day, since nobody else seems to be going to do so, I am going to write a book. A nonfiction book. And this book will be about fandom. It will be about the history of (Western) fandom, how it goes back much farther than we in the modern day think--since, after all, who owns Hercules? Where would Virgil be without Homer? Does Ovid have a copyright on Ariadne? Our culture makes distinctions between what is okay and fanfic, but these distinctions are false. They're covering up the actual distinction, which is that intellectual property laws changed the rules...and, of course, fanfic must be weird, because it's written by women and queers--and queer women! End of world alert! And I wish to investigate when exactly fandom switched from being respectable (done by men) to not (done by women). And then I wish to explain in short little words how we are not weird, we are not deviant, we are not new, we are tapping into a vein of creativity that's as old as Western civilization--upon which Western civilization was founded!--so there's nothing wrong with us.

Because someone in fandom, someone who is one of us, someone who understands, needs to write the seminal text on fanfic before some (straight, white, male) outsider does one that looks at us like crazy people or bugs on a slide, above all like others. Because we're really not, and I may not know a lot about psychology, but I've got a smattering of gender theory (okay, more than a smattering, but by people-talking-about-gender-theory standards, it's assembled from bits and bobs all over) and I know a lot about storytelling.
cygna_hime: (Default)
Dear Mr EGBERT J. BAKKER,

First of all, I am extremely sorry. I didn't know there were still parents in this modern day and age so cruel as to saddle their children with such a name. But look on the bright side: your middle initial places you in such august company as Bullwinkle J. Moose and Rocket J. Squirrel.

Back to my initial point.

I realize that you're writing a scholarly paper on syntax in Herodotus and thus are using transliterated Greek and a lot of specialized language. I respect you for this.

HOWEVER.

When you elect to call the associated clauses in the men...de... construction "the men-member" and "the de-member", I am not to blame for the sudden attack of snickering in the computer lab.

The context: "I propose to see the men-member as preparatory with respect to the de-member: the former creates an expectation that will be fulfilled by the latter." I hold you responsible, sir, for soda damage to my computer screen.

Yrs Sincerely,
Cygna, who is, on the other hand, much more entertained by your paper than she expected to be.
cygna_hime: (Default)
Some days, anyway. Some days it's exactly as bad as I made it out to be.

I think now is the time when I should be grateful that I am in college, where professors are much less likely to flip out over backchat. See, the Greek professor friendly-but-incompetent tried to assign 8 sections of Lysias III for Thursday (!). To give you an idea of how much that is, we only had to do seven over the weekend. So I said, "I think that's a little much to have to do in two days." To this he replied, "Do you really think so?" As anyone who knows me would know, this is not the way to get me to pipe down. A phrase that questions the validity of my opinion like that, with extra faintly condescending? Bad plan. Because my response was, "Yes, yes I do." ...So we only have to do six sections. Which is still a lot, but less ridiculous.

And then I went to Roman History, away from which I came with a Julio-Claudian family tree. I was surprised it could be done in two dimensions, to be honest. What I have learned: everyone was married several times, at least once to their first cousin. (In a random moment of fangirl, I have this urge to show this chart to every fictional monarch and say, "This? Nooooo.")

And in Latin, we're starting the Ars Amatoria! Book three, too, which is Ovid's advice for women on how to get a man. Obvs. very entertaining. It only becomes more HILARIOUS when I perform a quick mental association and read it with "Popular" from Wicked playing in my head. I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys, little ways to flirt and flounce--ooh! I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair (really--there's a section on hairstyle and what color of stola you should wear, though I believe we're skipping that, because I for one am not desperately interested in ancient Roman hair-care tips) everything that really counts~! Only, y'know, in Latin, and therefore much more erudite. Trufax.

How much am I loving this already? Well, we had the first 82 lines due for Thursday, and I've already done them. All of them. Because it is WIN.

On Thursday, there's going to be a lecture on "The Romans and Ritual Murder". Fun, y/y? Plus, I get Greek extra credit for showing up and writing up a little response thingy. Awesomesocks! (We do not get Latin extra credit, but then we do not need it.)

Wow, I may actually do all my homework with limited flailing this week. That never happens.
cygna_hime: (Default)
I am somewhat desensitized by the last year and a half of elections. Also, I mailed my absentee ballot in last Friday, so I don't have to find time in my schedule to go vote.

Three guesses who got my vote, and the first two don't count. Not that it matters, because the day NJ goes red is a sad, sad day indeed. But. The cynic in me knows it's not that easy, but the idealist really, profoundly wants Obama to be everything he's promised to be. It's not going to make a difference, the cynic cries, because all Presidents suck (the cynic, I should point out, was eleven when Dubya was elected and formed her ideas on modern presidents accordingly). But it might, replies the idealist. And that's all I have to say.

So, instead of voting, I am going to take a Greek test, and then read to the class my three-page paper on how much Propertius likes it when his girlfriend beats him up. No, seriously. This isn't a very good translation, but I'm too lazy to type up the one I have. Propertius III.8--because this was not, in fact, before BDSM.

And yes, my Latin professor picked it out for me. I love her ♥. She's fun and awesome and can actually teach (unlike her husband, who I'm sure is a nice person, but not a good teacher of Greek). And I like the class itself, which makes her more likeable for me, y'know? Because talking about stuff I find interesting is always fun, and then I get credit!

Classics fandom = best fandom ever. Proof that gaining legitimacy doesn't have to mean becoming dull--assisted by the fact that Moral Guardians can seldom read what we're reading and assume it's something very erudite. (Also, classics department lunch tomorrow = free pizza!)
cygna_hime: (Default)
Why college is awesome: today I got to go listen to a classics BNF (specializing in Virgil) give a talk about his analysis of the Aeneid as related to the early Augustan Age, and what Virgil was saying about both--was he using Aeneas purely to show the good bits, or to highlight the bad? It was most excellent. He was a very interesting speaker, and although I haven't actually read the Aeneid yet, I was fascinated and felt that several new perspectives were rattling around in my head afterward.

Blah blah classics blah blah Marvel blah )

My fandom did it first. Pretty much guaranteed.
cygna_hime: (Default)
Haha, I finished my Latin summer work! 37 lines of Ovid in an hour; I rule. At life, the universe, and geeking. And I only looked in my English copy for a hint once.

See, Ovid is one of your more difficult poets, in that he is very good at the Latin poetry style, which consists of actively working against basic laws of syntax. As in, you know the theory that adjectives should be somewhere near the noun they modify? Well, Ovid gets POINTS for deliberately putting the adjectives on one side of the verb and the nouns on the other, and just letting you guess which goes with which.

That said, it helps to have read someone else's translation and, thus, know what's supposed to be happening. Apollo is such a prat. And very very gay, but that's another story. Several, actually.

I do love translating Latin. There may be something very wrong with me.

Subjects complete: 1. Subjects remaining: 3. Bah.
cygna_hime: (Default)
Gods and little fishes, I am tired. All day, and some of yesterday, I've been in that state where you see your hands moving and don't associate them with yourself. I feel very detached, like I'm not connected to my body. I'm watching my hands type this, click-click-click, and I still don't feel that the words are written by me, that the hands are moved by me. It's a very odd feeling. I need sleep.

I'm not going to get it tonight, though, because I've got to do my APEuro notes tonight. I hope.

----

In much more interesting news, I got Bronze Age volume 2 out of the library. It's Yet Another Trojan War story. I haven't read vol. 1, but hey, it's not like I'll miss anything!

Report: I didn't like it. It was in historical mode, sans (or mostly sans) gods as gods, and more about politics and events. It was also very wide-reaching, over all the people and events. Myself, I thought that was a failing. Trying to tell about everything, it ended up about nothing. I couldn't see people often enough to get invested in them. I, of course, miss and mourn the gods. Someone ought to keep them in.

Some things that really really got me:

Achilles was dark and Patroclus fair. What's more Helen was dark. Congratulations, inkers! You have just totally screwed up my character perception--and my internal eye is stronger than your drawings! Achilles has red-gold hair. He is described as such. It's the demigod trademark, that unnaturally fair hair. Menelaus has red hair too, by the way, as well as Odysseus, so you can stop drawing Odysseus with dark hair, kthx. But...dark-haired Achilles? Dark-haired Helen? Does not compute. No way, no how.

The names were screwy. Yes, I realize that there are at least two ways (Greek or Roman) to write them, but you should never do what was done here. Patroklus? Kassandra yet Clytemnestra? No. Pick one and stick with it. I know you want to write Ajax, no Aias, and Menelaus, not Menelaos. So leave Herakles out of it! Inconsistency is evil.

As a history, I thought it very good. However, it was crap as a story, as a re-telling. It didn't live, didn't have anything powerful behind it. The gods were gone, and all their poetry with them. The larger-than-life, realer-than-real stories of the heroes were gone. Everything was life-size, exactly. The poetry, the sense of a great, powerful force behind the ships, was gone. And the Achaeans were a musical people. Without that music, there is nothing left.

The story told nothing new, nothing in a way or from a perspective I hadn't seen before. It was the classical literature, with all the gods taken out and the demigods reduced to mortal, all combined together and forced to reconcile. It was nothing new. And since it could not measure up to the beauty of the originals--it didn't even try--it fell flat. It failed as a story, as a legend. Accurate history-as-she-is-taught, but none of the magic left. That annoys me, because I know it could be done. A comic could be made that brought the sheer beauty and terror (as the dawn) into focus.

It could be done, but it wasn't. That's what gets me.

Oh, and they kept calling Agamemnon the "High King" too. That annoyed the heck out of me.
cygna_hime: (Default)
We had a brief meeting at the library today to prep. Two favorite quotes, from the mythology quizzing portion.

1) Teacher: What are the shades [meaning dead ghost people] in the Underworld called in Latin?
Hannah:...Curtains?
All: *laugh*
Teacher: Venetian blinds?
All: *laugh*
For the record, they're 'manes'.

2) Teacher: Who was the goddess of the rainbow?
Kathy:...
Kathy:...Jared? [referring to a rather flamboyant mutual friend/friendly acquaintance]
Me, Hannah, Kathy: *laugh*
Teacher: *requires explanation* *gets one* *blushes* *giggles*
She is Iris, so you know.

One of the history items I'm supposed to look up is the story of Regulus. Official reason to do so! Not related to fanfic! SCORE!

I've been working on a Snape-and-Draco fic. Nothing else much has gotten done.

I'm tired.

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