cygna_hime: Unretouched and unedited I swear to god. (Zounds!)
2019-04-09 06:53 pm

(no subject)

Playing International version of FFX, which is what the remaster is, is an exercise in forgetting to save because I'm doing stuff in areas that couldn't possibly kill me...only to run into a Dark Aeon I didn't know was there. Ixion, get back to Djose where you belong!
cygna_hime: (Fall to Fly)
2019-04-09 04:56 pm
Entry tags:

Back on the FFX Train again

choo choo

I love Yuna best I think of all FF characters, in part because her characterization is so subtle but so consistent. She seems like a generic Good Girl until you learn that she's in fact more stubborn than everyone who loves her combined, and then you see it everywhere. She looks fragile, and acts in ways that we associate with fragility (quietness, kindness, femininity), but she's touch enough that the world has no choice but to bend around her. And she possesses what I keep thinking of, in reference to a song we used to sing at my synagogue, as "the courage to dare".

Good stuff. Now I'm going to completely ignore her quest and play more blitzball.
cygna_hime: Unretouched and unedited I swear to god. (Zounds!)
2019-03-24 03:07 pm

RPGs and the Unseen

No, I don't mean ghosts. I mean: women not polished up and packaged for the consumption of straight men. I mean: queer characters at all. I mean: anyone over thirty, but especially women.

I got angry and hurt last night thinking about how many of the things I love don't seem to love me back. How many of the JRPGs I love, where you fight god and form a family, relegate their female characters to male characters' love interests if they exist at all (looking at you, Final Fantasy XV). How many games and shows don't have a single queer character, or if they do it's as a cruel joke. How the Good-Natured Pervert (or, if you're not feeling charitable, Chronic Sexual Harasser) character is a fixture. How my friend keeps telling me to watch Gurren Lagann, but the first episode I watched was constantly talking about "being a man" in a way that felt like being hit in the face with a No Girls Allowed sign. How everyone says the Persona series is great, but I've also sat in on endless conversations about Atlus's treatment of women and constant flight from anything resembling queerness.

So I am now accepting two things:

1) Recommendations for things in the JRPG vein that will make me feel Seen; and

2) Suggestions for elements to put in an RPG of my own. I have RPG Maker and no artistic skill. I cannot be stopped.
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-03-13 09:56 am

(no subject)

Got from floor 20 to floor like 36 of the Via Infinitio and accidentally ran into an Elder Drake FML

eta: TWICE.
cygna_hime: (Fall to Fly)
2019-02-26 01:07 pm
Entry tags:

VICTORY!!!

I did it!!!! At least, I think so. I got to the first Chapter 5 100% checkpoint, and I had the right percentage. So I think I'm back on track after many trials!

Not 100% sure what I did differently, but I'm not going to argue.
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-02-25 07:16 pm

(no subject)

I'm going to try Chapter 4 again. Wish me luck!
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-02-25 06:53 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Can officially confirm, I fucked up something in Chapter 4 and now my single-run 100% dreams are dust. I have a save from before then but not the fortitude to do everything over. I will end up wanting to see the New Yevon scenes anyway.

Also I fucked up one (1) publicity prompt and now have to load a save from like two hours ago. Save often, kids, and don't look at guides when your eyes are blurry from lack of sleep!

I had thoughts and feelings about early ch. 5, and also X-2 blitzball is dumb and I don't like it, but I'm a creature composed entirely of cranky.

ETA: Also my game glitched and gave me the trophy for defeating Trema in the middle of a random battle. I'm going to actually do it anyway (somehow), but it's weird.
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-02-23 06:32 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Fucking COMMSPHERES!!!

ETA: I ran through the whole sequence twice in a row, consulting three different guides, and I'm STILL not sure if I messed up somewhere (and if so, where). That's it I'm done if this isn't good enough I'll just have to NG+ my way to 100%.
cygna_hime: (Final Fantasy X - Sending)
2019-02-21 09:21 pm
Entry tags:

More FFX-2 Noodling

I didn't fully realize until just now that the end-of-chapter-3 scenes in Bevelle are optional. If you've been there once in the chapter and been turned away, you could easily miss a cutscene that ties the whole story together. I mean, I guess you learn soon that Baralai's been possessed, but...so much of the character stories are revealed, are revealed to have stories, there. Why is that missable?

Characterization burbling )

In other news, I decided I wanted to get BOTH publicity companies to level 4, which involves just so much grinding at Sky Slots. So much. I watched like a podcast and a half, playing with the sound off so I didn't go mad, and they're not short! A total of 3.5-4 hours spent in the Calm Lands. Why did I do this to myself?

P.S. I still love Wakka. He's a dumb boy but he tries so hard, and he's grown so much. Even if he's dumb enough to go in without a healer, WAKKA, I know you have a lot of HP but PLEASE.

P.P.S. Actually I love Kimahri also; even though he's not with Yuna anymore he's still looking for spheres to make her happy.

P.P.P.S. Yuna protecting the guardians who once protected her!!!
cygna_hime: (Final Fantasy X - Sending)
2019-02-17 10:34 am

(no subject)

Naturally, my mom walks in while I'm doing the Leblanc massage minigame. At least I had headphones in...

Parents have a gift for finding the most embarrassing moments to pay attention to what one is doing.
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-02-13 10:33 am

FFX-2 Adventures

I'm replaying this for the nth time, this time on PS4, because sometimes you just want to do sidequests and be girls. Anyway!

In Chapter 2, just had an encounter with Nooj outside the Den of Woe, and it got me thinking: what does Nooj think is going on? It doesn't sound like Shuyin's driving all the time - among other things, a charismatic leader and organizer he is not - so does that mean Nooj isn't aware that he's possessed? He asks the Gullwings to help him get into the Den of Woe; is that something Shuyin wants, or does Nooj want to dispel its evil somehow, or find answers to what happened to them?

What does Nooj think happened at Mi'ihen? Presumably he, if he's mostly the one driving and I suspect he is, doesn't remember shooting his friends. Does he just...not think about it, like his brain avoiding the place where the hole is? Brains do that; people with various forms of brain damage can be very functional despite not being able to notice that there's something missing because the noticing bit is part of what's damaged.

Is Nooj confused, when he walks up to Paine and she gives him the cold shoulder?

I kind of want to write a fic now from Nooj's perspective on the events of/surrounding the game, especially while he's possessed and - I think - unable to notice it. ...He must be lonely.

And of course I can't help but think about Paine's perspective on that scene too, how Rikku and even Yuna are asking her about Nooj like he's an ex-boyfriend when she's thinking about how he tried to kill her. No wonder she shuts it down so hard!
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-02-09 12:04 pm
Entry tags:

I return home!

Apparently when they take your gallbladder out, they won't let you take it home with you even if you ask. "bluh bluh Pathology needs it" Do they really? It's not like it's a secret what went wrong. There was a hardened blob of cholesterol the size of a marble in there, is what went wrong. And it's mine! I should be allowed to preserve as many of my organs in jars as I want to!

Doctors these days have no respect for the aesthetic.
cygna_hime: (Fall to Fly)
2019-02-07 06:03 pm

New experiences, I guess

Surgery tomorrow morning means Anxiety Time tonight. So far it's not a big deal, just some usual stuff - no food or drink after midnight, need to take a couple showers with this special soap they gave me - but tomorrow Things will Happen, and I will not be in control of hardly any of them. (Not that I want to be in control necessarily; I stress about evenly either way.)

Also they gave me blood thinner shots to give myself after I get sent home, and I don't know how to do that. The box says "using the standard method, inject". Helpful. They promise they'll tell me in the hospital.

I'm either going to be really unconscious or really bored; I arrive at 10 am and the doctor wants me to stay overnight Just In Case I have trouble with the anesthesia. Which I am mildly to moderately panicking about. There are a lot of things to mildly to moderately panic about, with first-time abdominal surgery.
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-02-05 05:15 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

I emerge from the KHIII abyss, bearing many Opinions.

Spoilers below )
cygna_hime: Xion is in ur fandom, queerin ur text (Xion Queering the Text)
2019-01-29 05:57 pm

(no subject)

I have achieved Kingdom Hearts III. Do not expect to see me for a while.

(I'm having so much fun y'all!!! There are so many colors!)
cygna_hime: (Default)
2019-01-14 11:42 am

(no subject)

Guess who has two thumbs and GALLSTONES! It's me!

Spent the last two days in a world of misery, hurt, and digestive upset. Crossing my fingers and hoping that my feeling a little - a lot - better now is a trend not an aberration. Being able to find a position to lie down in without pain is beautiful. Relatedly: sleep. Sleep is wonderful.

I am REALLY PISSED that I had an ultrasound for similar symptoms (but much, much less bad) in OCTOBER, and the doctor's office had the results there, and apparently did not ONCE look at them or, if they did look at them, think to mention them to me. All this could have been avoided!

I have an appointment tomorrow to See What Must Be Done (probably surgery, but a very minor one these days).
cygna_hime: a grey tabby cat sitting atop a bookshelf (purrcy)
2019-01-05 03:18 pm

(no subject)

Today's plan to clip the cat's toenails has been derailed by persistent cuteness. He's tugged a blanket down onto the rug and curled up on it, and Mom doesn't want him to associate blankets with The Trauma Of Nailclipping, so we're leaving him be, the cute little scamp.

I love him. I need to make an icon of him.

ETA: icon! I'm not good at...taking photos...or editing them...but I love him.
cygna_hime: (Default)
2018-12-26 11:38 pm
Entry tags:

Three Good Things

1. I'm visiting my friends, who are good and soft.

2. I just came from my grandparents, who are also good and soft.

3. Delicious pumpkin bread.