Weird reviewers strike again.

[cygna_hime]

I got three reviews in my inbox today, from three different people. One of them is so short and generic it need not concern us here (though someone read my Dragaera fic! Hah!). The other two, however...

Review #1 is very short. It reads: Some people get the wrong idea when Tomoyo blushes looking at Touya.
She blushes because she loves Sakura, and Touya's ears reminds her of Touya.

Now, while I do in fact agree with this (or would, if 'Sakura' was substituted for that last 'Touya', as she presumably intended), this was not posted to a Tomouya fic. It was not posted to a romance fic at all. It was posted to Eulogy, a slightly sad one-shot of Tomoyo giving a speech at Sakura's funeral.

This is not a pairing story. This is not a story where romance really meant anything. Yes, I did include, in the deep background, that Tomoyo and Touya were married. That was not the point. This is not about them. This is a story about Sakura.

There's a time and a place, you know? mellowcandle, have you seen this person?

Review #2 is longer, and was posted to OFUTomoeda. This is its text, with my comments in bold.
You really seem to have a high opinion of yourself. Objectively? No. Compared to my opinion of fanbrats who can't spell the characters' names? Yes. You really think
writers out there sjouldn't write stuff you don't like? No, I think they shouldn't write poorly. That's shouldn't with an 'h'. And you're one
to talk about spelling errors: "basic idea of what -your- should not
write in your fanfiction." Really. Okay, it seems I made a typo. That happens. It's when it's every other line that it becomes a problem. By the way, your spelling errors thus far = 1.

And you think the canon or authors don't commit crimes? Not against canon, since they create canon. Except for the people behind the last season of Smallville CLAMP has
committed one of the biggest acts of plagiarism in TV history. So why have I never heard of it? They ripped
off a character from the TV show "Cheers". In other words, Yamazaki
Takashi is a full animated version of Cliff Clavin. Don't believe me? In a word? No.
The evidence is there:

Yamazaki: "People who run marathons often practice at the peak of
mountains like Mt. Fuji. Even the tallest mountain in the world was first
climbed by someone training to run a marathon."

Cliff: "It's a known fact that J. Edgar Hoover invented pop culture in
1946 to distract the masses from the monotony of their everyday lives.
He got the idea after Frank Sinatra stayed home from the war, declaring
him the first pop singer." Okay, how are these similar? Exactly? The two statements have seven words in common: the, of, in, first, by, to, a. The evidence is grand.

They even have similar opinions on food:

Yamazaki: "Strawberries were originally from South America. Back then,
you couldn't eat strawberries much. That was because back then
strawberries could run away, unlike today. So, not many people could get hold
of them."

Cliff: "It's a little-known fact that they weren't originally called
'ears' of corn. They were first called toes of corn, but podiatrists
complained that people might start eating their own feet, so they changed
the name." Okay, how are these opinions similar? They're not even about the same food! Words shared: were, originally, that, so, people, of. I am o'erwhelmed with admiration. Not.

I rest my case. Okay, so the two characters both make up stories about random things. That does not mean one is a plagiarism of the other--you can't plagiarize a characteristic like that! Neither is plagiarising Mercutio, are they? Didn't think so. The jury finds for CLAMP.

Okay, seriously now: you write pretty good. Thank you, I think. Only, it's 'well'. I'm actually rather evil when it comes to writing. I'm surprised you updated
nearly a year after you publised. Spelling errors: 2 You know how I feel, so keep 'em
coming. Happy trails.

Gosh, um, let's see. My spelling errors: One, in three chapters. Yours: two, in one review. Hmmm. Also, your claim of plagiarism is both groundless and totally irrelevant. But I'm glad you like this, I think. I'm a bit of a slut about praise: I'll take it from anyone.


Reviewers are just plain weird.

Comments

[sakuracorr.livejournal.com]

Wow, that last girl takes the cake!

[mellowcandle.livejournal.com]

I don't know what that person is on about. I hate when someone picks a random detail out of my story to gripe about instead of, oh, I don't know, getting the point of the story. (And actually, according to an interview I read, Mokona was drawing the story as if Tomoyo was in love with Touya until she was told otherwise.)

Yamazaki=Cliff? That's genius! Why didn't I see it before? Oh, yeah, because Yamazaki knows he's making crap up, whereas Cliff thinks he's a regular font of knowledge.

[ayasugi-san.livejournal.com]

Wow, well-written bullshit! I wish I got that, instead of incomprehensible bullshit.

[shiro-no-wired.livejournal.com]

*Confuzzled by last review...*